Re-entry: Six Months in.

Believe it or not it has been six months since the Braykos re-entered Green Bay, Wisconsin from Hong Kong.  Honestly, time has flown.  It's strange returning to a place; you have changed and the place and people have changed. . . and yet, there are those things that haven't changed, too.  And that is what I find myself appreciating the most.

First, the sky, the clouds, the birds, the sunrises and sunsets.  These are somehow just as beautiful as they ever were but at the same time more so.  The sky seems bluer.  The clouds sometimes puffier or more perfectly "The Simpsons" in their drift.  The birds and the squirrels are a joy to feed and watch at the bird feeder.  I find myself having fun because they seem to be so happy themselves.  The sunrises and sunsets have been as glorious as any you would find in Cancun.

I have also enjoyed the change of seasons.  I haven't experienced a true autumn for more than seven years.  But even in Korea, the autumn wasn't very beautiful.  The autumn in Wisconsin can be stunning.  And it was.  I got outside every chance I could and took hundreds of photos! The color contrasts with the chill in the air. . . perfection. 

And then there are the seasonal things.  Halloween in the neighborhood here was especially enjoyable because we have two neighbors who go full-on "spooky yard"- RIP signs, corpses rising from the ground, fences with danger signs, creepy dolls positioned in ring-around-the-rosy.  You may not realize this, but Halloween is not a holiday celebrated in Korea.  So our tiny ex-pat community created something fun for the kids, but only our families and our kids participated.  Thus, having neighborhood after neighborhood with decorations and carved pumpkins out for weeks was quite the "treat".  

The same could be said for Christmas decorations now.  In Hong Kong the school decorated quite beautifully, as did the businesses in the city.  And friends would decorate their apartments too, with trees and decorations and all.  But again, seeing our own neighborhood decorated - outside lights and yard Santas and reindeer, and now a bit of snow, too, just makes me appreciate the beauty of the season in a new way.

Finally, Brent and I have been very much enjoying the Packer craze that permeates Green Bay, especially on game days.  We are taking advantage of our near proximity to the stadium by parking cars in our driveway and on our lawn.  We love the friendly "Go Pack Go!" exchanges with total strangers walking by in their warm Packer gear.  We love making chili and having a beer and watching the game from beginning to end in REAL TIME.  We love walking around the stadium itself the day before when thousands of visitors descend upon Green Bay in preparation for the big game.  We love hearing the local bands playing at bars just blocks away. We love the excitement in the air and the occasional free tickets!  I put on my green and gold coat, scarf, even slippers!  It's awesome and even better when shared with family; I happily attended the Washington v Packers game with my dad.

Each city has its own flavor.  Six months in and I am very much enjoying this place at this time.  I appreciate spending time with old friends, making new ones, and exploring Green Bay again to see what treasures arise.  Life is good and it feels like home.

Re-entry "How to talk to an Ex-pat"

I have now experienced several months of repatriation, and I can say with certainty that very few people seem to care about what the last 11 years of my life were like living in Asia.  That is not meant to be an insult or complaint as much as it may seem.  It is an observation.

And so I have been thinking about it quite a bit.  WHY?  Why is it that I can have conversations with old friends and the topic of life in Hong Kong never comes up?  Or if it does it goes something like "Is it good to be back in Wisconsin?"  Such a question seems to cut off any talk of life in Asia all together.  

I have spent some time over the years reflecting on this phenomenon as similar experiences happened each summer when we would visit.  I believe there is a gap.  And I believe the gap has to do with curiosity and connection.  Brené Brown writes about curiosity and how humans find it very difficult to be curious about things they know nothing about.  I have recognized this in myself.  For example, when my sister had cancer some years ago, I simply didn't know what to ask or how to ask it.  And so I would steer the conversations in another direction.  While I did know how to be sympathetic and loving, I didn't know how to be curious.  But others who had already experienced cancer or who had prior experiences with friends seemed to know what to say or ask or talk about.  In my present situation, this often means that only people who have traveled or lived abroad or who have watched documentaries or movies about Asia are apt to engage in any discussion about my life in Asia.

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Spaciousness

Spaciousness.  The roads feel wide!  The parking spaces have so much lee-way.  (It is a luxury to not always have to SQUEEZE out of my car because the door is only 1/2 way open.)  There are fields and fields that go on and on for acres as you drive through rural Wisconsin. Even in my own space I have both a front and a back yard to enjoy.  The flatness of Green Bay also lends itself to the feeling of spaciousness as the horizon seems to go on forever.

I actually didn't feel cramped in Hong Kong.  I got used to bustling streets with lots of people when we were in downtown HK.  And nature was plentiful on the Southside where we lived.  Yet, due to the mountains and the water, the buildings, and the closeness of it all, I never felt spaciousness.  Grandeur, yes.  Spaciousness, no.

Home entries and rooms are generally much larger than I have become accustomed to.  You know, those entries with a high ceiling and a spot to check yourself in the mirror before leaving?  That is new to me again.  It feels luxurious and somehow off to have all that space.

I notice even at grocery stores there is so much room in the aisle!  And the grocery carts are generally far larger in the US, too.  (Perhaps that leads to buying more groceries or goods?)  The grocery store near us was more the size and feel of an old general store or a little convenience store on the edge of a small town.  The aisles were close together and the shelves packed with a few of everything but not much of anything.  Not so here!  So much of everything and so much room to display it all.  Even two months living in Green Bay now, the grocery aisles seem huge and foreign to me.

In Washington DC we visited the monuments at the National Mall.  Now there is space!  So much space provided for each monument.  Even the national mall itself has held millions of people; it is that large.  And although it is a tourist attraction, there are far fewer people milling about than on a normal day in downtown Hong Kong.  This too makes spaces feel. . . well, spacious.

I suppose what I am saying is that I had become accustomed to spaces being smaller and closer and squished.  Neither is right or wrong, but it certainly is. . . different.  And something I've noticed upon re-entry. 

Wide lanes, wide roads, big sky, and spacious distance between Arlington National Cemetery and the Lincoln Memorial. Brent on the bridge as we walked across the Potomac River. 

"The Hill"

I remember being always amazed at the beauty and challenge of the mountains in Hong Kong and Korea. Now, experiencing Wisconsin's topography again with new eyes has been delightful. 

"The Hill".  Alec and I were at UW-Eau Claire for his first college visit.  There they boast "The Hill".  (How flat is this place?) We heard all about it during the orientation and then our tour guide made a big deal about it before we were to leave on the tour.  There are two ways to get from the lower campus to the upper campus, the STAIRS or the road on THE HILL.  

As a slow sprinkling rain began, our Eau Claire Senior, Jason, first took us to The Stairs.  "Let's take the stairs," he said.  "Don't worry, we will take it slow.  And don't worry, if you are a student and don't like the stairs, there is an on-going free shuttle to get you from the lower campus to the upper campus." (How big is this thing anyway?)

These were wooden stairs winding their way through the beautiful lush, green Wisconsin underbrush and woodlands.  Through the trees we couldn't see very far up the hill with clarity.  But it looked inviting, even challenging.  Our group of 10 began the climb.  At about 6 stories there was a landing where we all rested and caught our breath before the rest of the climb.  "Have a seat and some water if you like," said Jason.  Alec and I looked at each other, "That wasn't too bad.  But how much is left now?" we wondered.  

Well, as we left the covered landing we could now see to the top of the hill.  About 4 more stories and we had reached the top of The Hill.  At the crest, we chuckled to ourselves thinking of the HKIS campus and the many many stairs to be climbed each day especially from the field to the entrance of the high school for Alec as a middle schooler.  

By the time our tour of the upper campus was done, the sprinkling rain had become torrential. Now we needed to decide whether to take the steps or the road down "The Hill".  My vote was for the road as I worried the wooden steps had become slippery.  Plus, I really wanted to see what this famous hill was like!  We opened our umbrellas to begin the descent in the heavy rain. Our tour guide led us down a slow winding road without a visible end.  Again, Alec and I chuckled as we reached the bottom in about 4 minutes after having carefully selected our footing in the rain.  This wasn't even a 1/4 of the length of Villa Rosa, the hill just beyond the HKIS gates.  

Forty-year old Brenda would have huffed and puffed and cursed "The Hill".  But this Brenda was simply chuckling and realizing anew how flat so much of Wisconsin actually is. 

Re-entry: New to me

We have been busy re-patriating to the USA and to Green Bay for a week now.  Re-entry is much like departure - there is the flurry of visits and hugs with people, only now these are hellos instead of goodbyes.  (Still tears and a heart full and aching, though.)  There is the handling of everything that you own, piece by piece, only now there is the decision of where each thing goes in the house.  

Unique to repatriation, though, are the cultural differences one encounters while engaging in the community.  I've taken a few notes on things that are new to me (or maybe just feel new to me after eleven years away). And so I would like to begin a new short series called "Re-entry" documenting my journey returning to life in the US, Wisconsin, and Green Bay. 

New to Me

Masks After leaving the airports, the first very noticeable change is not seeing masks on everyone.  Hong Kong is still quite strict about wearing masks in public (in part because few have been vaccinated).  But here there are very few people wearing masks indoors or outdoors.  This takes a bit of mental adjustment.

Airport Cart We have travelled a lot over the years, and not until hitting O'Hare did we need to pay for a cart to move our luggage.  What is normally a free service suddenly became $7 a cart!  What?

Friendliness at O'Hare I do believe that the decimation of the airline industry has resulted in better service at O'Hare.  As a family for many years we have noted how rude workers at O'Hare have been in comparison to other airports.  Over the past few years that has been changing.  And this time there was a stark - and pleasing difference!  Our airport shuttle driver was literally singing and providing a brief tour on our way to the car rental, for example.  Also, another shuttle driver noticed I was about to pay for a cart and pointed out there was a loose one available.  A small kindness goes a long way.

Sugar and fat Eating out suddenly became more challenging.  Menus seem to have limited fresh items and far more sugary and fatty items.  Not to mention the portions and sheer amount of food served with a meal seem to be much bigger. 

Cup sizes As we were cleaning out our kitchen we found a plastic sippy cup designed to hold - 20+ ounces of coffee in a car.  The base would fit in the cupholder of a car, but the rest of the cup is massive.  It is mind-blowing how big some of these cups are!  At restaurants Alec has complained that there is no "medium".  He said the small is small but the medium is large.  He just wants a medium (think 12 oz versus 18 oz).  

Recycling Where are the recycling bins in the community?  It doesn't make sense to me to go to a vegan "smoothie in a bowl" sort of place literally called "Dirt" only to be served in plastic with plastic utensils and then have no recycling option.  What is up with that?  

Gas I know everyone is complaining about the rise is gas prices, but to us $2.89 is a good deal.  In HK we would be paying $9.40/gallon right now. Feeling blessed to be here!

Groceries HK is one of the most expensive economies in the world.  And so it was a pleasant shock to do our huge grocery run to stock the kitchen and come away paying only $309.  I have to tell you, I am pretty good at guessing the cost of groceries and I literally predicted a $600 bill.  Woohoo!

Sunset I have very much loved our view of Tai Tam Bay and the occasional lovely sunrises.  Now I am thrilled to see the beautiful sunsets. 

More to come. . . 

Thank you, Asia "Wishlist" (1 more day until seeing Adam)

"Wishlist"
 

10:05 PM in Hong Kong

Airport Terminal 1. Gate 26.

2 hours until the plane takes off.

We are waiting now.  These are the final moments of being a Hong Konger.  

Yesterday was full of goodbyes and emptying an apartment and getting to a hotel.  

It was an emotional roller coaster.  

Today was calm.  

Time for a Messenger chat with Adam. 

Time for a nice breakfast.  

Time for tea.  

Time for a perfect message at Luxe in Wan Chai.  

Time for Starbucks and cream puffs.  

Time for floating in the pool at the appointed slot.  

Time for room service with the family.  

Time for a tiny nap before leaving Ocean Park Marriott at 8:30 pm. 

The city lights were clear and beautiful as we passed by for our final time as residents.

I wish I could have seen Siem Riep in Cambodia.  

I wish I could have gotten to Taipei, Taiwan and Jeju, Korea and Tokyo, Japan.

I wish I could have visited Seoul and Boracay one more time.

I wish I would have seen Victoria Harbor from Ozone (on the 101st floor?) one more time

And walked through the Old Walled City park.  

I wish I could have given our helper a goodbye hug, but our paths didn't cross in person yesterday to do that.

I wish I could have eaten with my HKIS cohort (7 years!) at a local spot once more.

I wish I could have gathered the Super Moms together once more.

I imagine I shall think of many more things I would have liked to do or do again, 

but that is the nature of endings - 

there will always be some things left unfinished.

Therefore, let me instead now blow my wishlist to the wind and let it go.  

As Brent so eloquently reminded us all at Baccalaureate, "It is well. It is well with my soul."